Don’t Get Derailed, Get Intense

February 12, 2009 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off 

During times of extreme uncertainty and massive shifts, its human nature to have thoughts of panic and self-doubt. These become self-fulfilling only if you believe in them and identify with them.

Solo professionals are often alone and vulnerable to getting lost in thoughts triggered by events that are exploding in frequency. A deal falls through, there’s not enough money, inquiries slow down to a trickle or less, investors pull back, unexpected family needs show up, losses accumulate. And if that’s not enough, millions of other professionals are telling (and selling) other solo’s what they’re doing wrong and what they should be doing.
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When you don’t separate who you are from the onslaught of triggered thoughts, you’re at higher risk of getting derailed. A precursor is a sense of urgency to do or chase something different, and its accompanied by a lot of anxiety, tension and doubt – paradoxically, the exact things you’re trying to get away from.

Its not possible to stop all negative thinking, unless you live perhaps in a monastery. But you can refuse to identify with the thoughts and the debilitating emotions that accompany them. You do that by observing them and feeling them for what are: thoughts, not you. And then you refuse to respond to them by unconsciously going off in an unwanted direction and getting derailed.

Resolve to replace urgency and scrambling with intensity. Urgency scatters energy and attention and inhibits poise and readiness to receive. Intensity is focused on intuitively choosing to do one thing at a time with the highest quality.

Nobody can tell you what that “thing to do” is. It could be, for example, producing a creative work, taking a walk, washing the car, helping a client, eating an apple, working on finances, being with other people, looking for a job, playing with kids, doing errands, taking a nap.

What’s important is that you merge with what you do and not with your thoughts about it which make you doubt your choice. Florence Scovel Shin tells us “Let God juggle your affairs”. You don’t need a religious orientation to accept truth in that statement and to feel a sense of relief.

We’re part of something that needs to happen. Although its huge, and beyond our knowledge, control and understanding, with awareness and intensity, we are the conductor and on the right track.

Photo credit:Pewari Naan Photostream

Filed under: alignment, counter-direction, going solo, self-awareness, self-management, solo psf, stress relief
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Solo Professional Service Providers: What Business Are You In?

October 14, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Leave a Comment 

We’re in a financial crisis and possibly an economic downturn which means there’s even more advice being given, targeting independent professionals, than in more stable times. Most of it’s marketing related: being seen and heard, getting blog traffic and comments, building links, viral methods, etc. Its easy to get swept up in the speed, urgency and sheer volume of what you “should” do to succeed .

I suggest checking in with yourself and going the other way: slow down, be still and narrow your focus.

Early in 2008 I was deeply moved reading Suzanne Pleshette’s obituary and her philosophy about the entertainment industry and I blogged about it back then. I believe her philosophy is even more significant now:

“I’m an actress, and that’s why I’m still here,” she said in a 1999 interview. “Anybody who has the illusion that you can have a career as long as I have and be a star is kidding themselves.”

I believe that much of the great advice out there is for those who aim for stardom and not for actors. Solo psf’s are actors (although some are both). Know the business you’re in. You see, clients don’t care about stars. Clients are the most selfish species on the planet and they only care about themselves and what you’ll do for them. And rightfully so – its what they pay for and trust in! If you identify with the business of being a star, clients will quickly pick up on the vibe that its about you first, not them.

I’m not saying to ignore or discount great advice and information but rather that you filter it through a solo professional firm’s lens and follow and adopt it from a “client first” perspective. Remind yourself daily about the business that you’re in and commit to it for the long term.

Filed under: direction, resilience, self-awareness, self-management, solo psf
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