The value of You!
November 24, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Leave a Comment
RedShift: The New ROI-Of You
If everything you read or hear about money and finance contradicts your present experience, what you want and where you’re going, why look or listen? Think about it: do you want the so-called “experts” to determine your worth?
You may protest, saying you have $100 in the bank and owe $20,000, so you know you’re toast. Really? By what criteria? Most of the financial valuation criteria was designed for a world economy that bears little resemblance to the present, and maybe none to the near future.
So perhaps:
You’ve heavily invested in your physical well-being that will likely prolong your life for 20 years. Is that not a high-yield investment?
You’ve created a global micro-branded business that is not generating much revenue. What about the many intangible assets that can be amortized? How much? How long?
You’re beginning your encore career and are concerned with making yourself and the world better. How do you value your present and future impact? On how many lives? For how many generations even after you’re gone?
You’re sticking out, for 8 more years, a job you despise to meet your financial goals. How do you value what you really owe for that 8 years, or beyond?
The probable scenarios are countless. What does yours look like?
Remove your attention from the 100% negative financial reporting and boldly claim and create the value of you. Its not a fantasy. Its creative authority. Perhaps your -$19,900 negative worth is actually +$4 million. Which will you intend?.
Belief shift
August 3, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Leave a Comment
“To shift” is becoming a popular phrase with marketers, advertisers and coaches who use it with respect to attitudes, preferences and perceptions. Friday, while watching the terns from my beach chair on Briggs Beach in Little Compton, RI, I thought about the difference between those usages and what I mean by “to shift”.
The flock of terns shifted direction in perfect unison either towards what they wanted, like food in the water or in the wet sand, or away from what threatened or interfered with them, like people, dogs or larger birds. They moved like a single instinctively guided entity in response to their environment.
photo “Shorebird Synchronicity” credit: stevevoght on flicker
I saw the terns as a metaphor for how the 50 trillion cells of our bodies respond in unison to the environment we create with our beliefs. Our beliefs direct and we shift accordingly.
Like each tern in the flock, each of our individual cells is aware, receptive and collaborative, moving towards growth or towards protection. When we’re consciously directing this movement, there’s a shift. But we don’t see it, we feel it. We’ve changed.
The challenge for everyone now is to resist the temptation to direct ourselves too far towards protection because we feel threatened, unsafe and insecure because of everything that’s going on around us. That’s when we miss the proverbial school of minnows in the shallow waters and wet sand and we become undernourished in spirit, devoid of joy and blocks to the fulfillment and results that we’ve been desiring and working towards.
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intuition, metaphor q, metaphysics, natural influence, personal coaching, self-awareness, solo professional service firm
Knowledge and change
July 28, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Leave a Comment
We hear a lot about the importance of asking the right questions when 
solving problems and making decisions related to change. Unfortunately, the right questions are rarely asked although there’s a lot of lip service paid.
The greater the challenges, the greater the likelihood of default, reactive, political and ego-driven change response, often couched in buzzword expressions like “out of the box”.
Asking the right questions requires consciousness raising about your knowledge zone. The costs of not being aware include: weak competitive strategies, resistance and low morale, being at the mercy of fate or luck or external conditions and forces.
Whether you’re leading your personal, team, divisional or organizational change, you’ll turbo-charge the question-asking process with the courage to examine your individual and collective knowledge beliefs.
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alignment, business coaching, empathy, executive coaching, leadership, personal coaching, self-knowledge, meeting facilitation
The elevator riff
July 23, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Leave a Comment
In Neil Young’s video conversation with Charlie Rose he talked about his song writing process and how sometimes he gets little melodies, or hooks, rolling around in his head, like “little reminders”. Curiously, I often use “getting hooked” as a metaphor for repeatedly getting caught up in unwanted experiences.
Conversely, the music hook is a sound, or phrase that grabs a listener and sticks with them as a positive experience. That’s a result all marketers desire. And we’re all marketers. 
So I see the hook as a creative metaphor for the traditional pitch, or “elevator pitch“, a term that’s always turned me off because most sound to me as artificial and uninspiring as a resume’ or powerpoint presentation. On the other hand, I understand the importance of getting a point across quickly, like in 30 seconds. I’ve just never figured out how to effectively do that for myself or for my clients to naturally influence the audience.
The next time I develop personal and business micro-stories (can’t bear to call them pitches) I’ll do so from the perspective of my inner songwriter.
DA DOO RON RON….
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career transition, creative process, marketing , metaphor q, natural influence, Neil Young, personal brand, RedShift Professional Services, solo professional service firm
Disturbance
July 21, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Leave a Comment
Coaches often get asked if they cross the line into psychotherapy. My answer is no, except when it comes to the shadow, which can really trip up, or disturb, an otherwise very self-aware coaching client’s progress. A tip-off is an experience or interaction that the participant can’t let go of, that spins in the head and feels emotionally intractable. To the coach, or observer, the participant’s reaction seems way out of proportion to the event and has become an energy drain and distraction.
These disturbances show up in many forms: A brief confrontation with an angry driver upsets you and you’re still fuming and thinking about revenge a week later. A co-worker or manager throws a hissy fit and now your work life feels like a living hell. A family member pushes your buttons and it eats at you night and day. A team member shoots down your idea and now you want out of the project and permanently away from this idiot. Everything about the person you sit next to in the conference rubs you the wrong way and you can’t think of anything else.
Countless story lines and forms, always projection.
A psychotherapeutic approach may be to examine, trace back and re-experience the parts of the self that have been repressed and projected “out there” because they bring up shameful and anxious feelings or traumatic memories. A coaching or facilitative approach is more of a turnaround, or holding up a mirror, in the present, and within the context of a specific annoyance that’s got you hooked. I find 3-2-1 journaling an effective tool and I usually do the exercise along with my client. Its quick and works best with minimal thinking and effort.
The first step is to describe the experience in the third person: this is what happened, he said, she did, I got p.o.’d etc.
The second step is to second person dialog with him, or her - being open, listening, learning and getting his or her perspective.
The third step is to first person exchange so that you imagine you “are” him or her - saying this, doing that, ticking off others and the reasons why. You might realize: “I’m” the trouble-maker, or the control-freak or the cold fish.
Reading these back to each other feels surprisingly refreshing and light-hearted. There’s often a great sense of relief that comes with integrating important aspects of yourself that were lost to you for a long time. You’ll find that making friends with them results in a lot less suffering and misery from getting fixated, and a great deal more energy, time and attention for where you’re going and what you want.
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alignment, empathy, personal coaching, self-awareness, solo professional service firm, shadow work
Shiny lures
July 17, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Leave a Comment
Before I got into competitive rowing I sport-fished, and think I still hold the IGFA world record for Women Atlantic Bonito on 8 lb. test line. It wasn’t a huge fish but the line was very light and the lure was small, making it a lot more challenging to hook the fish and reel it in without breaking the line. The fish were too smart to grab anything bigger and heavier. Its like that when lures tempt us to go in the wrong direction or trick us into intending and aligning with what we don’t want.
We’re like fish in that we’re not so easily misled when the lures are glaringly obvious, like things, relationships and experiences that are overtly harmful, dangerous, addictive or socially and politically unacceptable. We may deny the risk and take the bait, but we know the danger exists. Its different when the lure is subtle and the line is almost invisible, and when we’re feeling particularly susceptible and vulnerable to external changes and forces, and when the only thing that warns us to swim the other way is the inner voice of intuition.
The lure and line is well camouflaged in so-called “experts”. They’re everywhere..in the media, politics, the workplace and even in our family and social networks. You’re ready to burst forth in creative self-expression but the career experts tell you that 100% mirroring the company, job description and hiring manager is the only possible path to earning a wage. You’re ready to shift into a more independent life infused with meaning and purpose but the life planning experts tell you that holding on to every dollar is imperative to survival and almost all small businesses fail anyway.
There’s simply too much fear noise to tune out. But we can choose in each moment, individually and collectively as a culture, to accept uncertainty, to follow our intuition, and to swim freely, naturally and unhooked in the unstoppable current of evolution.
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alignment, intuition, metaphysics, self-awareness, solo professional service firm
Efficiency
July 10, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Leave a Comment
When I posted about how to raise your Metaphor Q, I recommended that doing what you love as often as you can is good practice. If you stay present and aware, metaphor will show up in your favorite activities and peak experiences. My daily peak experience activity is rowing and today I learned a rowing lesson that correlates with a life direction lesson.
One of our boat club’s most skilled, knowledgeable and successful master rowers offered to row in a 2x (2 people, 4 oars) with me so that he could check my technical progress and help me improve. He’s a great coach and teacher so I jumped at the chance. His initial comments had to do with my applying too much force, expending too much effort and slowing the boat down by trying to speed it up. He had me practice a series of technique drills while he explained (from behind me) what I should be noticing and feeling as I eliminated excess motions from my stroke to make it smoother, more efficient, and more perfectly timed.
At one point, when he said “that’s it!”, I told him that I felt like I was pretty slow and not doing much of anything. His response was “that is because you have a false sense of boat speed.” Then I turned around (scullers face backwards) and he showed me the wrong (hard) way, and the right (efficient) way. Watching him and feeling the boat move, it was immediately apparent that trying too hard interfered with boat speed and added check, which, because of slight, repetitive, inefficient movements translates to “going the wrong way!”
Throughout the day I’ve seen the correlation everywhere, for example: 
- drivers speeding up, stopping short and weaving in and out trying to beat the lights and the other drivers
- clients expressing their frustration with endless, extraneous “stupid” tasks in their jobs that kill their creativity and productivity
- everyone multi-tasking, rushing and doing more to get ahead or to stay ahead while constantly subjecting themselves to news and information that informs them of seemingly insurmountable costs and hurdles to accomplishing either, and no end in sight
We’re speeding up, trying to do more, urgently competing for safety and survival.. but we’re “checking the boat” and going the wrong way.
A response I often hear is “but how?”, or, “I have no choice!”, or “next week (or month, or year) when I have more or less of ‘x’”. Well, there’s a glut of advice and tips available about how to improve efficiency, but although its mostly common sense, without a shift in awareness and belief, it results in superficial and temporary changes at best, and increased frustration and stress at worst. It needn’t be as hard as adding more goals and lists and resolutions.
Instead, just notice how different experiences feel when you do them with a lighter touch, or natural influence and when you let go of pre-conceived assumptions about what the results should be. Those assumptions, or beliefs, may be based on “a false sense of (insert your metaphorical term)” and create an artificial self-influence that counter-directs you away from your ideal.
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alignment, leadership, natural influence, self-awareness
Anxious or excited?
July 8, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · 1 Comment
I recently attended a workshop for people who race. It was tailored for competitive rowers but applicable to all sports competitors. What I liked so much about this presentation, given by a former national team rower/psychologist, was her in-depth explanation of why race anxiety is ok and should be accepted by the competitor as a natural combination of adrenaline, excitement and a small amount of anxiety, but not a debilitating amount. I totally related to what she was teaching us because I often get anxious at the start-line and then I get anxious about being anxious. Its a downward spiral of my own creation.
Her presentation also reminded me of Ken Wilber’s shadow work that I’d once read and saved and which teaches that anxiety is a symptom and its original shadow form is excitement. In other words, when we deny or avoid feeling excited, we pay the price by feeling anxious. So why would we deny or avoid excitement? Well that depends on what we believe about our experiences, situations and changes.
If you’re feeling anxious and depressed and 
believe that some things or everything is falling apart, are you willing for at least a few moments a day to shift your belief and feel the excitement and adrenaline of being at the start-line?
Because in every moment and with every breath, the start-line is exactly where you are.
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metaphysics, self-awareness, solo professional service firm
My paradoxical weight loss story
July 2, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Leave a Comment
I’ve been asked by so many people how I lost weight and went down several sizes that I wanted to share my thoughts. I’ve been fortunate in that I’ve never had weight problems; everyone is fairly tall and thin in my family. But over the past 15 years its crept up even though I figured a lot of it was muscle bulk due to taking up the sport of rowing 10 years ago and also, just getting older.
I workout most days for my rowing and I started doing the Five Tibetans after every workout to re-balance strength and energy. I don’t pay anywhere near strict attention to diet although I cut back on deserts. I found I just couldn’t leave them alone working from home, so I stopped buying them. A rower friend helped me improve my rowing technique, rhythm and posture. That, and the Five Tibetans, and the resulting improvements, translated to how I carry myself all the time. And that’s the sum of what I did physically that likely contributed to the inches I lost off my waist. It may sound like a lot, but I didn’t significantly increase my activity or radically change my diet. I just paid more attention to the quality.
But I also have this very strong intuition that the pounds I lost are directly related to the interior baggage that I lost over the winter. I was worried about my business, I wasn’t inspired to write or develop anything new, my closest family members had moved across country and I deeply missed them, the weather got me down and I got discouraged. On one hand, I was telling myself to work and try harder to improve and change things. But instead, I obeyed some impulses which included getting rid of TV and excess stuff and immersing myself for 6 weeks in self-awareness practice, reading, journaling and just letting go of trying to control anything at all. And that was significant. After that immersion period I found it easy to continue the practices in the normal course of the day because I’d formed habits.
I started noticing that my clothes, especially jeans, started to feel big, and then really big so that I had to give away 2/3’s of my closet. I replaced my jeans with a size that I wore 30+ years ago. I want to stress that losing weight was never a goal or even a back-burner issue; I was happy to be fit, healthy and to excel at the sport I love. Besides, I love food and would not dream of depriving myself of the pleasure of eating.
So the more I tried to explain it to everyone who asked me “how I did it”, the more I realized that my weight/size loss was tied to the old limiting beliefs that I’d shed and replaced during my self-imposed retreat. My weight loss, which meant I went from size 12 to size 6 jeans, presented itself more like a totally unexpected gift and surprise, because although I was not looking for it I really love and appreciate the results.
So its simply not possible to put my weight loss story into a “how-to” context because I believe if anyone tried to do the same, they would not have my experience…because they “tried”. All I can definitively say is that deep stillness, relaxation, consciousness examination and letting go of all concerns and control opens doors, especially doors that you don’t try to open because you don’t even know they exist.
If you’re curious about The Five Tibetans:
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self-awareness, self-knowledge, weight loss
Multi-dimensional
July 1, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Leave a Comment
One of my challenges as a professional services practitioner is developing unique and rigorous personal, professional and organizational growth and improvement models and communicating those simply, creatively and effectively. I’m always encouraged when clients use similar terminology.
That happened recently when one expressed the desire to be more multi-dimensional with respect to blending various careers, talents, skills and abilities as an independent business, thinking about slash-career in a new way.
I personally got enthused about the term multi-dimensional in the early nineties reading Peter Drucker’s predictions that future organizations must succeed on all 3 dimensions - economic, social and human - rather than succeed on just one.
Recently, I was reading Florence Scovel Shin, a spiritual and metaphysical writer and practitioner in the 1920’s. She writes of the importance of the fourth dimension, a term she used to describe intuition.
In the past 10 years, astounding gains in cosmological knowledge is increasingly supported the theory that the known universe itself is multi-dimensional, in other words, one of infinite parallel universes all part a grand multiverse.
Now that I’m coming across the phrase “multi-dimensional” in many contexts in addition to those I’ve mentioned, I’m wondering if our traditional linear models are no longer sufficient to describe states of change at this stage of our individual and collective evolution.
But since we’re limited by our physiology to experience a multi-dimensional existence, how does understanding the multi-dimensional improve our lives if we’re not physicists or scientists?
I think in some respects its better to not know but rather to sense that there’s infinitely more to our reality than what we see and directly experience in our linear timeline and with our existing perceptual abilities. If we can be still enough to sense what we can’t directly experience, and make that stillness and sensing a practice, we can learn to be in touch, or to make friends with, the multi-dimensional. Heightening this sense enhances life experience at every level - from practical personal, professional and organizational problem solving and decision making to truly transformational shifts in consciousness when the things we want begin to spontaneously and naturally feel like probabilities rather than possibilities.
Try replacing “anything is possible” with “everything is probable” and you’re likely to feel energized and naturally influential. If you fully believe the second statement, and refuse to believe anything less, you’re being the fulfillment you desire, rather than having to do something to get it. This might feel like going against the wave (and airwaves full) of artificial influence and resultant reactivity that presently dominates our one world. But often the right direction is to go the other way.
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natural influence, self-awareness, solo professional service firm, metaphysics