Chain reaction of overwhelment
August 18, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Leave a Comment
You know how some days you leap out of bed before dawn because you have so much energy and so many ideas? And then, by 10 a.m. you feel lethargic and let-down. You probably overwhelmed yourself. I get it. I’m a generalist which makes me very prone to the condition.
I was so excited at 5 a.m. about what I wanted to produce, that I took a rest day from rowing. Its now 11 a.m. and I have a headache, I feel like I’ve been working hard but have nothing to show for it, and I have to leave in 45 minutes for a meeting. All I can think about is “wake me when its over”. But what is “its”? Well, its just my thinking over which I have total control. In fact, at the end of the day, its really the only “it” that I have control over. But I choose to ignore that today.
So what triggers caused me to unwittingly flip my excitement over to anxiety, its shadow form? I’ll re-trace my morning:
- I read dozens of tweets by people I’ve been following and started to mentally compare myself to them, even though I have little in common with them and care less. I started to think that I’m not doing enough.
- I went on a support forum to review a thread about about a software problem I’d been dealing with but that I’d decided last night I could put aside for now because its fairly trivial. I started looking hard again for the “answer”. I started to think that my new site is not perfect enough.
- I browsed through some feeds and noticed a trend that annoys me: popular coach/consultants marketing their very expensive and exclusive secrets of “how to triple your business” to struggling solo professionals. I got angry, thinking about how I hate pyramid schemes. I started to think that these people are not ethical enough.
Urgency. Perfectionism. Judgment. And the chain reaction was set into motion.
I could feel it happening but chose to not hit the “kill switch”. Sound familiar? This comes up in my work with so many clients, in so many contexts and situations. I often hear people self-describe it as their ADD.
Why is it so hard to stop it in ourselves or to help others caught up in the chain reaction? Well that’s a huge learning that I want to share: its because we protect our hidden beliefs that counter-direct us away from what we want. And there’s hidden payoffs in protecting those beliefs…or, there once was.
That’s it. When the spinning starts, and the anxious feelings kick in, just remind yourself that you’re choosing the thoughts that are creating your reality in that moment. Stress is an indicator. A different thought is yours to choose.
Anxious or excited?
July 8, 2008 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · 1 Comment
I recently attended a workshop for people who race. It was tailored for competitive rowers but applicable to all sports competitors. What I liked so much about this presentation, given by a former national team rower/psychologist, was her in-depth explanation of why race anxiety is ok and should be accepted by the competitor as a natural combination of adrenaline, excitement and a small amount of anxiety, but not a debilitating amount. I totally related to what she was teaching us because I often get anxious at the start-line and then I get anxious about being anxious. Its a downward spiral of my own creation.
Her presentation also reminded me of Ken Wilber’s shadow work that I’d once read and saved and which teaches that anxiety is a symptom and its original shadow form is excitement. In other words, when we deny or avoid feeling excited, we pay the price by feeling anxious. So why would we deny or avoid excitement? Well that depends on what we believe about our experiences, situations and changes.
If you’re feeling anxious and depressed and 
believe that some things or everything is falling apart, are you willing for at least a few moments a day to shift your belief and feel the excitement and adrenaline of being at the start-line?
Because in every moment and with every breath, the start-line is exactly where you are.
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