Just This Once
February 22, 2010 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
It used to be called “getting over” but you don’t hear that expression anymore. You expect it in the public so that’s not getting over. You join the private to get away from it and resent it when it shows up, which it does, more than ever. Some now call it hustle.
- The moderator continually requests that participants keep their comments within the topic, framework and agenda but the hand keeps going up and the interruption is “just this once”.
- The group’s charter includes never using the group for business solicitation or self-promotion and a new member tries to sneak one in that’s barely camouflaged and the interruption is “just this once”.
- The professional service provider provides free, search-able access to ideas, solutions and content but the uncommitted client interrupts to ask for and discuss what’s already easily available “just this once”.
This self-management technique is the best way to discern if you’re the perp or the victim of getting over. Ask yourself “what would this look like if everyone chose to do this just this once?” The key word is choose. Don’t choose or settle for the wrong hustle, unless you’re Superfly.
How Dare You!
February 19, 2010 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
There’s an infinite amount of things about which to be righteously indignant. The ego loves it when you respond this way and rewards you with a jolt of satisfaction in the form of superiority and anxiety relief. Both are very temporary and you want the next hit which is only a mouse-click, channel-change, phone call, mail delivery, argument or interaction away.
Righteous indignation is a massive time-suck and a creativity killing monster. There’s a lot of advice about how to break the habit. But like diet advice and most resolutions, they’re failure methods because they don’t address the underlying intention: resistance.
I prefer this. When you feel yourself getting hooked have a talk with yourself and write it down, by hand on paper.
Ask yourself, how dare I:
- not give form to my ideas, solutions and content that create a positive experience and energy that spreads
- not reach out to somebody who needs my support and understanding
- not still my mind to allow the creative insight and inspiration that is my birthright to come through me
- not trust that there’s evolution happening and its my choice to be aligned with (leadership) or against it
These are suggestions; you get the idea.
When you hold up a mirror and employ a proprioceptive technique you’re much more likely to dislodge the resistance that shows up as the habit of righteous indignation.
I dare you!
Artist credit:
How Dare You
Sankam via deviantArt
Your Day Job
February 17, 2010 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
The question I get asked most is: “how do I start/grow my business and still make money to pay my bills?”. Unfortunately, its rarely asked in those simple terms. I hear the craziest stuff including cash flow management, leveraging vendors and long-term exit strategies…but that’s another post.
My answer to the question is simple:
1) Ignore everything you read on this topic because everyone’s situation and circumstance are unique.
2) The only thing you must do is refuse to give away your creative authority.
- You have creative authority in form: your ideas, solutions and content. So get the credit.
- You have creative authority in action: your autonomy. So self-direct.
- You have creative authority in intention: your beliefs. So be mindful and aware.
Your refusal must be absolute so be vigilant for doubts or rationalizations.
Your refusal might result in a so-called “day job” wildly different from your business. I’ve done that. It was good.
Do You Care About Me?
February 16, 2010 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
So this is what I’ve observed after a few days experimenting with Buzz: very few tech/business people, often referred to as celebrities, dominate the public discussions. The vast majority of those who follow them race to make comments, agree or disagree, troll, rail against, offend, self-promote, cross-promote, ask for something, spam, praise and sometimes add value. This of course, is nothing new in public discussion groups.
What’s different and dramatic now is the scale…something like 10 million Google Buzz posts the first few days. So I followed a few of the celebrities, and observed how they engaged an almost instantaneous swarm of tens of thousands of followers. My sense: a collective need arises that I can only describe as: “Do You Care About Me?”. And I thought…do they care? How? And what does care even mean?
I can’t think of a better starting point for any brand (including global microbrands) to grow and develop in the Web 2.0 and beyond world, than to ask those questions. This is my first pass at a framework to facilitate that process. I followed a model that I created years ago for knowledge awareness, and its been valuable.
Why do it? Because to care is the natural state and point of power. Its also a state tremendously negatively affected by contradicting and limiting complex belief systems that inhibit growth and development.
“I Care” – is there a better way to change the status quo?
The Golden Tomb
November 11, 2009 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
“And you old men love building golden tombs and sealing the rest of us in with you.” — Don Draper
This was a great line from the recent Mad Men season finale. For me, the golden tomb is a metaphor for denial of, and resistance to, the creative power of belief.
That resistance shows up in ourselves as the voice of our ego whose job is to convince us that change is the enemy and that survival and protection is paramount. It shows up in others and in institutions where the job of the collective ego is to strengthen and enforce the status quo.
If we’re not vigilant, we can give ourselves over to runaway negative thoughts (the “old men”) about people, experiences and things that we don’t want or don’t like. The result, of course, is to identify with and bind ourselves to our fears and problems, to add to our stress and suffering and to seal ourselves in the tomb of our unconscious intention.
The way out, for individuals and organizations, is more of a paradox than an effort. The door to the golden tomb immediately flies open with the awareness that we close ourselves off to, in exactly the same way we open ourselves up to, our creative power, greater intelligence, friendly guidance and infinite probabilities for positive change, growth and development.
Intention – It’s Creative
October 24, 2009 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
Intention: the “I” in DRIVE
One of the 5 elements of the RedShift DRIVE Self-Awareness and Change Leadership Model, and key to shifting identity in the metaphysical dimension, is Intention.
“Be the change you want” is an increasingly popular personal development and leadership intention, in this context defined as where we direct our attention or what we identify with. Its often coupled with “we can change the world” and both relate to thought and action. Consultants often call it some version of “to drive change”.
This approach presumes outward intention, and how to respond in new and sometimes more conscious ways to things that are happening to us and our world. Outward intention is attention directed at form and matter, a tiny percentage of the totality of existence to which we ascribe tremendous dominion and then against which we must endlessly struggle in attempt to control.
The resulting suffering we see all around us is evidence that we also need to go within. To allow ourselves and lead others to shift attention inward, on the formless and invisible, is to relinquish control and to take the hands off the wheel. This creates space for new conditions in which change can take place and for receiving the greater intelligence and guidance that’s always available but rarely has the right of way.
Life is change and evolution. To draw a boundary between us and evolution, accepting only what we think is good and rejecting what we think is bad pits us against life and change. But the proof is getting harder to deny – who knows what’s good or bad?
To paraphrase Eckhart Tolle, life is the driver and you (we) are the DRIVE. Time, distance and the conditions along the way matter less when we let go of the ways and means and will to get to where we want to be. Its not as hard as it sounds if you just live and lead as if you’re already there.
I Coulda Been An Intender
September 11, 2009 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
The prevailing sentiment in response to massive change shifts we’re experiencing reminds me of the great scene from On The Waterfront.
The main character, Terry Mallow, played by Marlon Brando, is a dockworker mixed up in waterfront crime. He’s also a washed up fighter who, on his brother Charley’s instructions, threw a fight he could’ve won, to rig the odds for the mob/union boss. Later, Terry considers risking his life to testify against the mob, and his brother Charley tries to bribe and then threaten him about that choice. The famous scene plays out when Terry reminds his brother, that if he’d looked out for him and not pushed him to fix the fight “I coulda been a contender” and not just a bum with a one-way ticket to Palookaville.
What we get now, in similarly challenging times, is pressure to contend, that is, to struggle, strive and compete for and against people, things and situations. For the contender, perceived failure or loss leads to regret, guilt, despair and rage. The media and those who give advice for a living, love it. We’re bombarded with information that suggest that to survive we must contend.
But its a failure response to change.
Giving oneself over to contending is a form of hubris that leads to more suffering when we delude ourselves that we can change things through our force of will or stop change through the force of our resistance. Change is life. When we refuse to contend we align with life, with the infinite outcome probabilities available in every moment and with a guiding force that Einstein described as a friendly universe that’s on our side.
We’re witnessing the pressure to contend in the public and political battle over health care reform. The issues got obfuscated by the judgments about President Obama’s bi-partisan response to the opposition. He was increasingly called weak and ineffective, by even his most ardent supporters. Yet he refused to contend and instead consistently intended unity. Wherever you stand on the issues, there’s no mistaking the power of a leader who speaks from his or her personal truth and integrity. That power came through in the president’s recent health care reform address.
Contend implies against; intend implies toward. Its not to say that to contend is a bad thing, but from a Buddhist perspective to not contend means less suffering.
Yet we can learn through suffering as the Marlon Brando character learned in the story. We always have access to our voice of truth, exemplified in the movie by Father Barry, played by Karl Malden. Despite Terry’s furious screaming “its none of your business”, the priest convinces Terry that he can avenge his brother’s murder through the truth in a courthouse, not by “firing lead into another man’s flesh”. In other words, don’t give them what they want. Don’t contend.
For too long now, we’ve been telling our true self and inner voice: its none of your business. But we had it backwards and we’re now beginning to see more clearly that its never been our business. I think Emerson was speaking of our hubris, and that we think we know more than Nature and she says to us, “So hot? my little Sir.”
More than ever, it takes vigilance, diligence and courage to refuse the temptation to contend. Going against the status quo can mean rejection and even retribution. But when they called Terry a rat, he responded that he’d been ratting on himself for years. When we stop doing that, we may find that Palookaville is not as bad as anticipated and a gateway to what we want, the equivalent, or something even better.
Stupid Ego
July 24, 2009 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
The Professor Gates – Cambridge Police incident spotlights our collective unconsciousness about the extent to which the ego governs our responses and reactions to things and events that we don’t want or don’t like.
If we’re aware of our ego, and its attachment to opinions, roles, race, class, authority, ownership etc., it loses its power. That doesn’t mean we won’t bump up against things and situations that upset, frustrate, anger and disappoint. But it does mean that we’ll recognize an ego trigger and refuse to blindly and fully give ourselves over to it.
Its not that we shouldn’t stand up, and even fight for, what we believe in. But when aware of the ego’s involvement, we do so with discernment and with some sense of responsibility for creating the very experience that we don’t like.
The ego hates awareness, intelligence, discernment and co-creative responsibility. It needs to be stupid in order to exist and survive. Like radar, it seeks out the stupid ego in other people which is really the one stupid ego that lives through and in every one of us.
When President Obama remarked about the stupidity of the escalation of the incident, I translate that to the stupidity of the egos feeding off each other and subsequently the collective ego feeding off the resulting rage and polarization that spread like wildfire.
Whether you agree or disagree with their respective positions, if you put yourself in the shoes of the egos of the parties in the incident, their reactions make perfect sense and you can understand how they felt threatened in that situation to the point of annihilation.
Unfortunately, our egos will often trick us into thinking that in doing this kind of exchanging ourselves for the other, that we’re making excuses for what is wrong or bad and what should be eliminated. So we choose instead to harden our opinions and build stronger walls around them, unable to see that we’re creating a hard life experience, i.e. suffering.
When you look at it this way, you may realize that the stupid ego is extorting a very high price and its a price you’re no longer willing to pay.
The Art of Refusal
July 10, 2009 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
If you feel defeated because you can’t get or be what you want, refuse to have or be anything less.
If you’re stressed out and angry over loss or change, refuse to make others and the space around you stressed out and angry.
If you’re in a crisis and fearful, refuse to merge with it.
If you can’t handle it anymore, refuse to carry the burden and release it to someone, or something else.
If you’re burning with resentment, refuse to judge anyone or anything.
If you’re feeling snarky and cruel about someone, refuse to repeat what you’re thinking.
If you’re in the grip of addiction or compulsion, refuse to be unkind to yourself.
If you’re feeling isolated and unwanted, smile and greet everyone warmly.
The more you practice the art of refusal, the more you accept the responsibility for creating both the good and bad in your life in exactly the same way. At that point, what you’ll feel most is grateful.
Space
May 20, 2009 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
We’re made up of more space (dark energy and dark matter) than visible form and matter, but we spend most of our lives totally identified with the latter. Its one thing to think about the concept of spaciousness but yet another to experience it, for even a short period of time. Anyway, why would we want to and how do we do that?
We want to because we now know that the physical and conceptual structures that we’re identified with are unstable and will be replaced with new ones that are yet to be created. We want to be part of that. But fear and worry about that instability, and how it will affect our lives and businesses, lead to more attachment and rigidity that then shows up in how we respond to change: protection, judgment, guilt, resentment, complaining, blame, etc.
So instead of a desired growth direction we get stuck on the survival path. Life and business experience becomes relentless reactivity to an endless series of crises and lack . We know that the way towards new and better experience is through creativity and innovation, but forget that creativity comes through us. Its not something we can reach out and attain. Rather, we have to make space for it and knock down the walls that block it.
Making space for creativity in challenging times requires vigilance over individual and collective thought and action. Space is created by ceasing thinking and constant doing, and by softening the physical and conceptual boundaries constructed in attempt to keep out everything not wanted, like vulnerability. It can be as simple as taking deep breaths and setting time aside for short periods of stillness. It can also be more challenging and require a lot of courage, putting oneself on the line without a safety net for one’s convictions, so to speak.
The challenges we’re dealing with now are opportunities for dropping resistance and defenses to receive the wave of creative energy that is always available. It comes through us when we let it. It takes faith. The biblical metaphor for our self-constructed creativity barrier is the Wall of Jericho. When we blast ours down, we’re then freed to enter our Promise Land. That’s the metaphor for the place and point of power from where we can expand our natural influence, and contribute the best of who we are to what is yet to be created.
-
Latest Articles
-
Latest Twitter
- Brave defiance & calling out Stupak for troglodyte he is from Natasha Chart - Recognizing Female Personhood http://tinyurl.com/yflpyrp 1 hr ago
- More updates...
Special Topic Pages
Don't Miss a Thing - Free Updates by Email!
RedShift Blog Archives
Connect and Share
-
Where's the zorba?
-
Solo Professional Service Firms (PSF)
-
Change Leadership
-
Industry
-
VRM (Vendor Relationship Management)
-
WordPress
-
Creativity
- How Dare You!
- Continual Link Making
- Merchandising Your Professional Service Practice
- Space
- You Don’t Need to Botox Your Blog
Why No Comments
The RedShift Web Site Pages and the corresponding Blog: Creating Natural Influence, do not enable comments. I'm more comfortable getting feedback on social sites than here, where the work is so close to who I am, where I've been and where I'm going. If you have a comment or question, or would like to suggest a topic for an upcoming blog article, please contact me. Thank you.