when clients are tough, don’t be

February 28, 2007 by Mary Wynne-Wynter 

I was channel surfing the other night and stopped to watch 60 Minutes where Mike Wallace was interviewing Bill O’Reilly. I watched two clips, O’Reilly with Al Franken, and then with Paul Krugman. Both ended with O’Reilly screaming “shut up” and lashing out at them in response to their challenges.

Later, reading some great blog posts about dealing with angry customers and their problems, I thought of two client partings that I wished I’d handled differently. At the time, I congratulated myself for not losing my cool. In retrospect, I see that my inner “O’Reilly” voice was responding with my personal version of: shut-up, I’m right, you’re wrong, and I don’t want you as a client anymore, anyway. My professional demeanor was superficial and no doubt those clients felt my underlying hardness.

turtle.gifMy protective shell felt good for a few days, but over the long term its bothered me that two client relationships ended on a bad vibe.

I think that typical “take the high road” techniques (cool-off before answering, don’t blame the client etc.) are not enough. One of my teachers explains this around the notion of availability. In my case, I’m no longer willing to be available to any of my “O’Reilly” stuff and I’m willing to be available to a softer and more giving response to challenging client situations…not just in my communications, but in my intention, or belief.

Since we provide professional services, there’s no buffer (like a box of software) between us and our clients. It can feel sensitive and vulnerable and tempting to get caught up in the “I fired my client” response that’s so widely accepted. If you get caught up in that, try listening to the great Gnarls Barkely “Crazy” song: “think twice, that’s my only advice”.

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