when clients are tough, don’t be
February 28, 2007 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
I was channel surfing the other night and stopped to watch 60 Minutes where Mike Wallace was interviewing Bill O’Reilly. I watched two clips, O’Reilly with Al Franken, and then with Paul Krugman. Both ended with O’Reilly screaming “shut up” and lashing out at them in response to their challenges.
Later, reading some great blog posts about dealing with angry customers and their problems, I thought of two client partings that I wished I’d handled differently. At the time, I congratulated myself for not losing my cool. In retrospect, I see that my inner “O’Reilly” voice was responding with my personal version of: shut-up, I’m right, you’re wrong, and I don’t want you as a client anymore, anyway. My professional demeanor was superficial and no doubt those clients felt my underlying hardness.
My protective shell felt good for a few days, but over the long term its bothered me that two client relationships ended on a bad vibe.
I think that typical “take the high road” techniques (cool-off before answering, don’t blame the client etc.) are not enough. One of my teachers explains this around the notion of availability. In my case, I’m no longer willing to be available to any of my “O’Reilly” stuff and I’m willing to be available to a softer and more giving response to challenging client situations…not just in my communications, but in my intention, or belief.
Since we provide professional services, there’s no buffer (like a box of software) between us and our clients. It can feel sensitive and vulnerable and tempting to get caught up in the “I fired my client” response that’s so widely accepted. If you get caught up in that, try listening to the great Gnarls Barkely “Crazy” song: “think twice, that’s my only advice”.
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uncertainty
February 27, 2007 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
Two important things I’ve learned since going solo 8 years ago are: the importance of 1) doing nothing and, 2) accepting uncertainty. A friend recently commented “Mary, I don’t know how you do it”. I told her that I’m in the habit of making conscious choice. For example, I could choose to hate the wildly swinging finances of entrepreneurship and independent professional services. Or, I could choose to love the creativity, excitement, risk-taking and independence that makes me feel so wildly alive. So I choose the latter. The more you choose, the less you are even aware that you choosing; its just part of your identity.
There’s so much great stuff out there about these subjects, but rather than list them, I’ll share something from the audiobook that I’ve been listening to this week. One of the amazing things about conscious choice is that sychronicity follows. This cool story/audiobook, that I’d never heard of and just happened to stumble upon, is an example. In The Wind Up Bird Chronicle, there’s a colorful, kinda crazy character, Mr Honda, who is deaf, old, an aesthetic and psychic who loves to holler spiritual advice. Its a perfect statement for “doing nothing” and the synchronicity of finding it (or better…it finding me!) made me smile.
Here’s the audio:
Here’s the text:
“The point is is to not resist the flow. You go up when you’re supposed to go up – find the highest tower 
and climb to the top! You go down when you’re supposed to go down – find the deepest well 
and go down to the bottom! When there’s no flow stay still – it can be hard to wait for the flow to start but when you have to wait you have to wait!”
I can’t think of an image for the “waiting” that Mr Honda describes. Maybe there is none, and that’s the point.
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why bother blogging?
February 26, 2007 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
Because I live in fairly techie Cambridge MA, its surprising to me how few bloggers I personally know, considering how many blogs exist. Its taken me a long time to figure out what I wanted my blog to be so I’ve often wondered as I struggled “is it worth it?”
Then I think back to my last business venture before the internet. It was 1990 and it was a machine tool manufacturing startup. We needed a slick brochure, the typical print and design work, bare minimum trade show collateral, a feature article in a few trade magazines with accompanying PR etc. I’ll bet we spent $100k in the first year, and that didn’t include “owning” the artwork. It puts things in perspective.
So the longer I blog, and build and update my business web site, the more I appreciate the (almost) free publishing and not take it for granted or stress about how many other professional service firms (psf’s) are doing the same. Its time, its effort but the cash outlay is nothing, I have control, I learn new skills, and I stay on point about what I do because I blog about it. Seventeen years ago you did not have to compete for eyeballs and mindshare the way we do now. But comparing now to then, I can say without hesitation “you can frackin keep the old days”.
If no one reads your post, does it exist?: ”
What do most people get out of blogging? After all, most blogs are virtually unread by outsiders…
The act of writing a blog changes people, especially business people. The first thing it does is change posture. Once you realize that no HAS to read your blog, that you can’t MAKE them read your blog, you approach writing with humility and view readers with gratitude. The second thing it does is force you to be clear. If you write something that’s confusing or in shorthand, you fail.
Respectful and clear. That’s a lot to get out of something that doesn’t take much time.
“
(Via Seth’s Blog.)
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(pop) culture matters
February 26, 2007 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
A few years ago I took an advanced workshop for coaches. The workshop leaders had us watch a video that was a montage of clips of commercials and programming over the course of a couple of hours on typical cable TV. It went on and an and it was annoying to watch but I was surprised by the reaction of some of the attendees who were covering their ears, pleading for it to end and calling it everything from ‘banal’ to ‘painful’. That was the point. It was about how you work with clients in the world we live in, not the one you wish we live in.
I thought of that workshop again this week when I was trying to find the connection between these two stories that I sense are important: Al Gore’s transformation and comeback, and, a new book (added to my list) based on a ‘dreampolitik’ idea. I’m seeing that emerging trends and resulting strategies are becoming increasingly complex and boundary-less, touching the core of identity. Knowing how to ask the right questions, and to help our clients do the same, will be a valuable skill for providers of professional services.
Al Gore, the Oscar hopeful known to his most fervent fans as ‘The Goracle’, has gone from failed presidential contender to the most unlikely of global celebrities in the wake of the release of his film, ‘An Inconvenient Truth.’
Incredible as it may seem, Al Gore is not only totally carbon neutral, but geek-chic cool. No velvet rope can stop him. He rolls with Diddy. He is on first-name basis, for real, with Ludacris. But what does this mean? And how did it happen? Did Gore change? Or did the climate — political, cultural, natural — change around him?
(Via MSNBC.com: Politics.)
Books: Why the Left Should Indulge Americans’ Fantasies: “Stephen Duncombe explains why the left should indulge Americans’ fantasies (By Emily Weinstein)
Village Voice Arts 2/22/07 5:15 PM”
Dream could have simply been an elegy to that pre-9-11 era—a nostalgia piece for the recent past. Instead, it reads like a manifesto inspired by a pop culture fever dream. Seizing upon references high and low, Duncombe makes the case that spectacle can be an ethical and sophisticated means of appealing to, even seducing, the American public. Rather than bemoan the fact that people are obsessed with Paris Hilton and condemn video games like Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, both of which Duncombe discusses with a mix of awe and critical glee, liberals need to determine why that obsession exists—pop culture as road map into the American mind. “We can’t afford to ignore it,” Duncombe said. “If we do, we’re writing off the passion of a hell of a lot of people.”
(Via Village Voice Arts.)
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mothers and work
February 22, 2007 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
I’ve been sensing an increased motherhood militancy but did not know it had gotten this strong. This article is about MomsRising.org, a rapidly growing advocacy community for working mothers and a new, related documentary film that is getting a lot attention.
The bottom line: its bad out there for working mothers, 67% of who have children under 18. They want equal opportunities, fair treatment, equal pay and flexible schedules. I hope there’s progress, but I don’t envision sweeping change in the workplace.
The reality is that anything less than 13 hour days and full-time commitment is a perilous position for many professionals. For example, this firm’s idea of flex-time is allowing employees to start at 6 a.m. so they can leave by 7 p.m.
Its easy to understand the financial issues that working mothers face. But the NYT article, and what I’ve been seeing and sensing, makes me think that deeper issues for working mothers are about identity.
At many house parties, the issue that has generated the most discussion is something that activists call “maternal profiling.” That is using information about a woman’s status as a parent to make managerial decisions, like whether to hire her and how much to pay her.
I admire this group’s conviction in fighting for what they’ve earned and deserve. I also hope new models and scenarios for work will emerge from this movement, allowing working mothers to authentically and fully participate, and to bring their desperately needed value to the business world. I think we also need to ask ourselves: how can the professional service firms help them create this future?
renegade creativity
February 22, 2007 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
My friends often refer to me as an "ideas person", as if its something that I have that they don’t. But its not that at all.
Its simply that I’m happiest and most alive when my creative vibe is on high 
frequency. And I love the "Aha" moments with clients when the unexpected idea or solution emerges. So I look for examples of creative process everywhere, particularly where it blurs the lines between art, business, industry, popular culture and change. I don’t necessarily want to study it. I just want to stay alert to what I watch, read and hear, noticing what sticks with me, inspires me and makes me want to howl at the moon.
So now and then I block out everything, trying to not think or analyze or judge, and see what comes up and touches something in me.
Today, for example:
Pollock, Jackson Pollock portrayed by Ed Harris
On Writing, Stephen King
Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsay
House MD, Gregory House portrayed by Hugh Laurie
Sure, there’s hundreds, thousands more, but these 4 come up. I don’t know why and I don’t try to figure it out. I just take notes, like today’s:
there’s something about the brash, independent, renegade, creative male archetype that’s affecting me and exciting me. I wonder how it will show up in me and in my work? I hope there’s a moon tonight.
Your comments on renegade creativity?
answering “what do you do?” when you’re a generalist
February 16, 2007 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
I’m a generalist. I remember when admitting that seemed risky during the decades when specialization ruled. Not anymore. We’re in demand. But if you’re like me, your stuff (business, content, stories, ideas) tends to grow and grow. That can make it harder to answer THE QUESTION: "so what, exactly, do you do?". But eventually you come face-to-face with someone, like I recently did, who just won’t let go until you answer to her satisfaction. They don’t care about your manifesto, tag line, elevator pitch, target niche or differentiation statement, and they can kinda piss you off. These people are a gift to the generalist and are crucial to the independent professional services firm (PSF). They stop you and force to go back to the basics.
These people are never satisfied. If you give them the "short" version they say: but what does that mean? If you give them the "long" version they say: I don’t understand what you are talking about. Indulge them. I found it easier to map it out then to try to wordsmith it from scratch. Yes, an uber-generalist I am.
This is the resulting short version:
I do consulting, coaching and facilitating to help individuals, small business and teams, with change.This is the long one:
I do consulting, coaching and facilitating to help individuals, small business and teams, with change. This change can show up in people, projects or problems. I start with self-awareness, and apply knowledge, strategy and communications. I deliver this though fixed-price programs, with the goal to give clients lasting results, which I describe as D.R.I.V.E.Here’s the map:
There’s a good chance, a really good chance, that you still won’t satisfy the person asking because she has her own mental framework for how THE QUESTION should be answered. I’ll get things like: so you’re a career counselor, right? At that point, assuming the person is a potential ally (I suggest determining that before you go any further), you need to start bridging the frame of reference gap. I’ll save that for another blog. But when it comes to the people who insist upon THE QUESTION, don’t get mad, get clear.
blogs, zeitgeist, mind maps and the value of intuition
February 13, 2007 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · 2 Comments
Last week, most of what stuck with me seemed random and chaotic on one level, but 
connected and orderly on another level. When that happens, I like to map things out. Its part of my intuition process, or how I “capture the zeitgeist“.
These are the things that most stuck with me over the course of the week.
Seth Godin’s blog about worker compliance (which he calls ’sheepwalking) wonderfully on target. The Dixie Chicks won big at the Grammy Awards (“completed a defiant comeback”) when many predicted their fans would turn on the them for their defiant words against the war and the administration. Bob Dylan, a symbol of defiance, has #1 albums in his sixties. Stephen King’s audiobook, “On Writing”, a masterpiece from the master IMO, gave me inspiration, motivation, lessons and huge laughs. Eckhart Tolle’s teachings helped me stay real and awake. The wolf keeps coming up for me as a metaphor for independence, solo business and possibly a book title. There are signs of sea change in women’s views. I’m a little obsessed with everything red, especially clothes and racing shells.
So I look at my map, see defiance popping up everywhere, and start wondering: what does this mean to me, my business, my clients, their businesses. Margaret Heffernan describes the intuitive process:
“Women’s brains are like street sweepers,” she says.
That makes women “deeply and often chaotically informed,” Heffernan says. It also enables them to understand the market on a visceral level, as they notice new products, trends, tastes, and failures. And, it enables the savvy ones to see market opportunities.
Her examples of how women are good at connecting the dots, take place more in the physical world. Marketers are trying to get at how its done in the online world by keying in to key influencers, as reported in a recent WSJ article The Wizards of Buzz, although to me, that model it seems to be driven more by quantity than intuition.
Do you have examples of the value of your intuition (online or offline) that you’d like to share? Please comment, I’d love to hear them!
coincidence or synchronicity?
February 8, 2007 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
I agree they are important but disagree that you can cause them. The best you can be is alert to synchronicity and think of it as a pointer.
Maybe it points you to "don’t!". Here’s my case for that. Against most popular advice and opinion, I’ve had it on my mind for months, with signs and signals here and there, that too much ‘joining’ was stretching me thin, distracting me from fundamentals, basics and simplicity, and causing me more work and hassle. But I tried anyway and my experiments proved out my fears. I figured maybe its a coincidence, just random bad luck for me with anything hyped as Web 2.0. Wrong. I had fallen back into an old pattern of not trusting and "doing more".
So how can you know whether to write it off as coincidence, or to pay attention to it as a synchronicity and pointer? Stay alert. Feel it. The stress that you feel in your body is a great barometer for what to say "no" to. In my case, I ignored the sychronicity and got a 48 hour headache for it. This is a lesson I seem to need to learn over and over.
Why you need to worry about coincidence: "
Coincidence: I’m flying to Miami last week. Sort of weird guy sits next to me. We don’t talk much, but I notice him. We land. I go to my hotel, have an hour to spare before my speech, go to the gym to work out. He walks in.
Coincidence: Last night, I’m flipping through a really old reference book from when I used to write trivia questions. Spend five minutes reading the entry on Gary Glitter who I confess I had never heard of. Today, on the radio, I hear he’s being reprieved and let out of a Vietnamese jail early.
Coincidence: I’ve had my cell phone for two years. I have never once received a text message. Two weeks ago, I sign up for Facebook (long story) and need to confirm my ID by using my cell phone and a text message. In the last 10 days, I’ve received more than ten text messages, all commercial.
Reason 1 you need to worry about coincidence: human beings want explanations, even for totally random events. So they make up stories. If those stories are about you (I have no proof that Facebook is selling my number) then you have to live with that.
Reason 2: if you can cause coincidences to happen, people are going to talk about you. And that might be a good thing.
"
(Via Seth’s Blog.)
the hollywood model
February 8, 2007 by Mary Wynne-Wynter · Comments Off
This is a great post that will appeal to excellent people out there (me included) who never aspired to a management track. Kathy Sierra describes a different model of employee passion, one with an external, and not internal focus. She provides a good example of this, which she calls the Hollywood model. It reminded me of something that inspired me years ago. I read (or saw) an interview with prolific writer and producer David E. Kelley who said (I may not be quoting exactly): "I always preferred to create great work, not manage people who create it."
Don’t ask employees to be passionate about the company!
People ask me, ‘How can I get our employees to be passionate about the company?‘ Wrong question. Passion for our employer, manager, current job? Irrelevant. Passion for our profession and the kind of work we do? Crucial. If I own company FOO, I don’t need employees with a passion for FOO. I want those with a passion for the work they’re doing. The company should behave just like a good user interface — support people in doing what they’re trying to do, and stay the hell out of their way.
(Via Creating Passionate Users.)
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