Want great meetings? Ask a rowing coach!

August 31, 2006 by Mary Wynne-Wynter 

RedShift eZine
Sept. 2006

This month’s issue (and audio episode) is rowing-related….again. But its not about my rowing experience per se, its about a lesson in "how to lead a great meeting". I admit it. When it comes to meetings and presentations, I’m a tough nut, and tend to be equally judgmental of participants, leaders, presenters, facility, etc. So when I see someone do it right, I’m compelled to talk about it, and this month, to write about it.

Inspiration


Mayrene, my friend and awesome rowing coach, held camps for Masters women rowers here on the Charles river last week. She invited me and my rower friend Beth to drop in on the final camp session Saturday morning to say hello to old friends, meet new ones and observe her video coaching feedback session. As always with Mayrene, we had a great time. But it was more than our usual fun and camaraderie. It was also an opportunity to observe stellar communications leadership. The group was a total of 13 women and this is the nutshell of what was accomplished in 2 hours:
• introductions, icebreakers, catching up with each other individually and as a group
• watched detailed video of 8 women (plus coxswain) rowing together while Mayrene provided individual and group technical feedback
• discussed new ideas for programs and gave Mayrene feedback through survey
• a closing activity that provided enjoyment, humor and photos

It struck me that, except for the fun part, the meeting was similar in size and scope and time to typical business, team and organizational meetings or training sessions. So why are most so blah and unproductive when this one was so great? What learning could be carried over for both leaders and participants of meetings, workshops, group and one-to-one interactions? Thinking about this, I kept coming back to these 3 skills so beautifully exemplified by Mayrene, but so often missing: listening, shared learning, laughing. Everyone in the group was heard, valued equally and encouraged to express themselves in their own way and style. When questions where asked, Beth and I were invited to share our learning and unique perspective about building on strengths to meet the sport’s technical, physical and mental challenges. All of our diversity was appreciated, not discouraged. I found the lack of ego, will and control refreshing and very powerful.

Change


Coincidentally (or perhaps synchronistically?) while I was working on this, I came across some articles (see resources section for detail) that provided a big-picture change perspective. One article examines the American trend since 1976 to polarize, and how this shows up in the media as "shout TV". Another article was about the increasing loneliness and isolation of Americans, and how most adults only have two people they can talk to about the most important subjects in their lives. It appears that in the midst of profound societal change there’s not a lot of listening, sharing and laughing going on. So what can we do to lead our own growth and fullfillment and share that in the world?

Shift


Leadership competencies like communication, problem solving and self-awareness are important but are only part of the profile. We’ve all experienced presenters who have the abilities, but you just don’t "feel" what I call their core: identity, beliefs, values, consciousness. For example, from the time Mayrene first chose to coach masters women, to her initial camps with a small group, to where she is now with a large and growing group, her belief has always been "I love what I do". Clearly, everything she does and communicates, flows from this belief. Its not just words that are heard or affirmations that are repeated; it comes from the core, so its felt. And that is compelling and attracts allies, partners, clients, audience and success.

You may be thinking "sounds great, but its a lot easier to be authentic in a social setting than in the real world of business, organization and even family. I hear you. What can we do? We can practice communicating from our desired self (shifting to our own version of "I love what I do") in the easier setting. The improvements will show up, in some form, in the more difficult setting. I’ve recently learned about this law of correspondence from my teachers and I’ve found this is a huge benefit of belonging to social communities, whatever their size or structure. So when we are feeling stuck, frustrated, and thinking along the lines of "this meeting stinks, I’m taking over!", we know we have an alternative to this polarizing (shout TV) response. When I’m in that position I now have another option. Instead of responding as "tough nut" I can remember how I felt last Saturday at the MIT boathouse on the Charles river with a wonderful group of women who listened, shared, laughed, rowed and made the world less lonely.

Resources


I usually incorporate web articles in my blog and not my ezine. But these seemed to fit so well with the need for communications leadership that I decided to include them this month.

The Lonely American Just Got a Bit Lonelier

A Country Divided: Examining the State of Our Union

?George Stephanopoulos and ABC News Look at America’s Political Polarization
Since I live in small space, I give away most of my books after I read them. But there are a few that I will never part with. This one, by Pema Chodron, got me thinking years ago about how to open up to others to improve my communications and relationships.

Start Where You Are : A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chodron. Amazon link
To learn more about Mayrene and her excellent programs, click here.

Filed under: Consciousness, career, going solo
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