being liked, being authentic: coming into vogue?

November 17, 2005 by Mary Wynne-Wynter 

These two articles give me hope that the business world is recognizing that successful leaders lead from the heart and communicate authentically.

Boston Globe’s ($$) Don’t underestimate the value of social skills is about the importance of being liked.

No one is going to make you likable. "The people who are likable actually care about other people and care about the connections they make."

Also, figure out how to help someone else get what they need. "Recognize what you’re trying to get done and who you are trying to get it done with," advises Hodgkinson. "Then think beyond your own stuff to what the other people want."

Think of this as project management synergy, or resume empathy; you need to help others reach their goals. This will make you more likable, and then more likely to reach your own goals.

The Salon article ($$): Cheers for Tears is about showing emotion in the workplace.

The response to Katrina had me over the moon because it illustrates my point: Emotions, particularly when expressed by men, are powerful. Mayor Ray Nagin’s expletives; Kanye West saying "George Bush doesn’t care about black people" on national television; NBA basketball star Stephon Marbury weeping uncontrollably at a press conference; the breakdown of Jefferson County Parish president Aaron Broussard, as he described the calls for help from a friend’s mother who drowned in her nursing home. These incidents placed heartbreak on the political agenda. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff’s cool appraisal, "It’s an emotional time," seemed a paternalistic understatement intended to dismiss these protests as uncontrolled ravings. But on display in the days after Katrina were unvarnished tears and genuine empathy, which eventually compelled action.

Tears teach. What stirs us to public emotion reveals our needs, reflects our values. It also asks others to evaluate what, if anything, they are doing to provoke our tears, to take responsibility for our feelings by trying to make things better. This is why emotions are politically incorrect; they impose on us burdensome questions: What have I done? What can I do? The images of men breaking down and speaking out after Katrina exemplified true compassion, not the propagandistic kind that is safely contained and manipulated with photo ops and false camaraderie. It was raw, it was real and it won the hearts and minds of the nation. Let’s hope we haven’t seen the last of it.

Filed under: Consciousness, career, going solo
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